motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

literallygoth:

wtf is wrong with this child?

really needs to poo

literallygoth:

wtf is wrong with this child?

really needs to poo

ohyoucantstandmenow:

I didn’t know Jack White had a cooking show???????

qrieves:

Someone probably took a bite out a bar of soap for this aesthetic so let’s take a moment to thank

That bit mark looks like it has the texture of one of those fruit bars.

qrieves:

Someone probably took a bite out a bar of soap for this aesthetic so let’s take a moment to thank

That bit mark looks like it has the texture of one of those fruit bars.

Drinking beer makes me afraid of milk.

thelawnwrangler:

David Wain’s scathing political comedy. No punches have been pulled.
The US is so burned.

thelawnwrangler:

David Wain’s scathing political comedy. No punches have been pulled.

The US is so burned.

MySpace is kinda like a boyfriend/girlfriend that you dumped because there was something better going on, and now you see them and you think “Hey, you’re doing well, and I’m ok with that.” and you think about whether you could or should get back together with them, but when you think about it, you know that things wouldn’t be the same because you’ve both matured so much, and it’s for the better.

fallontonight:

Jimmy and Billy Crystal once went on what sounds like the best bus ride ever.

urgentcum:

I DID NOT KNOW SIRI COULD DO THIS REBLOG TO SAVE SOMEONES LIFE

urgentcum:

I DID NOT KNOW SIRI COULD DO THIS REBLOG TO SAVE SOMEONES LIFE

Tonight I realised that Fatboy Slim is a lot better at writing hit songs than I give him credit for.

If I had tinder, I would just reject everyone to keep them humble.